Fill-in-the-Blank Poetry Bandwagon
If I were black, then I could
probably join some Afro poetry
bandwagon, wearing some traditional
African costume, celebrating
my warrior spirit and my exuberant
***uality that my big butt mama
gave me, speaking my powerful
masculine words to the sound
of the drum beats,
Or I could be some spoken word cool cat,
writing urban verses about gang bangs
and my homies in the ghetto,
But I'm just a hetero***ual white male,
who is not too physical
and reserved when it comes to ***--
No, I could never join some Afro poetry
bandwagon, for I'm too uptight and
too white for that.
If I were a woman, then I could join
some goddess poetry bandwagon,
where I could celebrate my uterus
and ovaries and talk about joys
of motherhood and birth pains
and PMS, and how all men are pigs
and rapists and abusers, and I could
talk about my plight and the plight
of my sisters,
But I'm just a hetero***ual white male
and I'd sound ridiculous celebrating
my ***** or my balls,
and I'm too insecure about my ***** size
anyway,
Perhaps if I were gay, then I could join
some gay and lesbian poetry bandwagon
and sympathize with my bi***ual
and transgender brothers and sisters
and shout proudly about taking it
in my mouth or from behind,
But I'm just a hetero***ual white male,
masturbating on weekends without a date,
Perhaps if I turned my life to Jesus,
then I could join some Jesus poetry bandwagon,
proclaiming freedom from sin
and the power of the Lord,
and the promise of the eternal life,
But I'm just an atheist, and I have nothing
to prove or disprove to anyone,
and I could never join
some metaphysical poetry bandwagon,
for bull**** has never been my forte.
For I'm just a hetero***ual white male,
transplanted into this foreign universe,
where people group together according
to their beliefs and convictions,
their crosses and their flags,
their allegiance to some
higher authority,
But I just carry myself like
some rude awakening
to anyone who'd like to me to join
their camaraderie of insincere assholes,
For I'm like a hemorrhoid in their ass
reminding them of the reality
that I'm not like them,
nor do I want to be.
November 18, 2006
--Alexander Shaumyan
http://www.shaumyan.com
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